Tag: jewishspacelasers

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Supports Reanimated Joe McCarthy To Fill George Santos Seat, Go After ‘Communist’ Democrats

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WASHINGTON – A fit-to-be-tied Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) today called the removal of George Santos from the House of Representatives “shameful.” Her posting on X, formerly Twitter, also declared that “Republican voters want us to stop the communist Democrat’s agenda…” Greene continued her rant, focusing mostly on the potential loss of a Republican-held seat to a Democrat in an upcoming special election, rather than on Santos’ character.

An hour later Rep. Greene posted again on X, indicating she would campaign for former senator Joseph McCarthy to replace Santos. “Joe and I will work hard to root out the communist Democrats in all levels of our government,” she wrote. McCarthy is famously known for leading Senate hearings in the 1950s that accused politicians and public figures of being secret members of the Communist party. He died in 1957.

When it was pointed out to Greene that McCarthy is no longer alive, she replied that she had a plan to use “a Jewish space laser” to reanimate his exhumed corpse “like they did with lightning in that documentary about Frankenstein.” Greene revealed, after being pressed for details, that she was referring to Young Frankenstein, the 1974 Mel Brooks comedy film.

Rep. Greene looked worried about strong competition for Santos’ seat when she was told of Donald Trump saying that “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.”

Marjorie Taylor Greene Turns Sights on Schumer’s Clam Chowder Police

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WASHINGTON – After Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene accused House Speaker Nancy Pelosi of using her “gazpacho police” to spy on members of Congress, their staff, and the American people, she has now set her sights on Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s “clam chowder police.”

Greene lambasted Schumer for using his two divisions, New England and Manhattan, against GOP senators for the same purposes as those of Pelosi’s cold soup aficionados. Greene spun a tale of how the New England group, working together with their region’s world famous liberal universities, Harvard and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), are developing ingestible microchips to spy on the activities of those who eat them. The devices would be embedded in the oyster crackers that are traditionally scattered on top of the creamy, rich clam chowder favored by New Englanders. A targeted beam from Jewish space lasers would then be used to activate the microchips, she claimed.

Schumer is also directing the New York group, according to Greene, in their “Manhattan Project,” which will insert the microchips in the potato cubes that are essential to the savory tomato-based broth used in its version of clam chowder. Greene proposed that the lasers must be adjusted to compensate for the soup’s Communist-red color.

When asked for evidence, Greene explained that the Senate dining room frequently offers either New England or Manhattan clam chowder on its menu. She also noted that the beams from Jewish space lasers, invisible to the human eye, could heat the chowder to temperatures high enough to burn the roofs of the mouths of Senators.

Greene suggested to her colleagues that there are no minestrone police, so that delicious soup is safe to consume.