PALM BEACH – Former twice-impeached President Donald Trump announced to no one in particular that when he soon returns to the Oval Office, he will name a young Norwegian blonde to the United States Supreme Court seat soon to be vacated by Justice Stephen Breyer. “She has to be a ’10’. That I can tell you,” he proclaimed from his Mar-A-Lago residence to the vast press corps of two reporters from Newsmax and OAN, while the cleaning crew quietly went about their work behind them.
Trump’s declaration alluded to his racist comments about “shithole countries” and his wish for more Norwegian immigrants. A spokesperson for the University of Oslo Law School expressed pride in its graduates, but echoed the words of Torbjoern Saetre, a local politician: “On behalf of Norway: Thanks, but no thanks.”
After leering at photos of Miss Norway winners, Trump chose 22 year old Nora Emilie Nakken of Trondheim who was crowned in 2021, saying “I don’t care about her qualifications! She’s almost as hot as Ivanka!” Trump bootlick Senator Lindsay O. Graham, who once called Trump “a kook” and “unfit for office,” said he would work with disbarred lawyer and Masked Singer contestant Rudy Giuliani to arrange a one-on-one interview between Trump and Ms. Nakken. Upon hearing the news, Ms. Nakken was seen running towards the nearest toilet to throw up.
After being contacted by Graham, Giuliani fell back on his bed and stuck his hand down his pants.