NEW YORK – In an earnings advisory call, Spotify CEO Daniel Ek told analysts that he is certain that the departure of artists from the service has ended. Ek proudly announced that Spotify will retain Vanilla Ice and Nickelback as their leading artists, along with the Joe Rogan Experience podcast. In an offhand comment, he noted that Vanilla Ice and Nickelback are the only artists still on Spotify.
Ek expressed confidence in Spotify’s focused portfolio of artists pointing out that with the lack of competition from talented artists, Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” has rocketed to the number one spot on the service with three streams daily, earning Ice a “well deserved” commission of $0.009 per day. Nickelback’s performance on the service has not met expectations, according to Ek, who did not elaborate further.
Rogan’s show will continue in its present form, analysts were told, including the presentation of every possible mistruth about COVID-19, the pandemic, vaccines, and cures that do not stand a snowball’s chance in hell of working for even one single person. They were assured that Spotify is still working with Rogan to determine the best way for him to continue to generate huge profits for the company by continuing his unfettered crusade to dangerously mislead the American public, while still appearing to comply with the service’s recently announced rules.
Spotify’s multiyear contract with Rogan, allegedly worth at least $100 million, will continue. Ek revealed that in light of the large number of subscription cancellations and the cost of Rogan’s contract, Spotify would have to impose a small increase in their subscription fee. Effective March 1st, the monthly fee will be $2000.
“You can have Rogan and Vanilla Ice. Both.” Ek added.