WASHINGTON – The Republican National Committee overwhelmingly voted to censure Representative Liz Cheney for taking a knee at the Super Bowl to pick up the hot dog she dropped during the halftime show. Cheney was on her knee for nearly one minute while she was reaching under her seat to find and retrieve the errant tube steak. RNC chair Ronna McDaniel said that Cheney’s unpatriotic act of disrespect and moral depravity was clearly timed to coincide with rapper Eminem taking a knee as Dr. Dre performed “I Ain’t Mad at Cha.”
An anonymous source, who wishes to remain so for fear of being censured a second time in just over a week, revealed that party members were dumbfounded that the NFL, an American institution that is paid by the US military at taxpayers’ expense to allow its patriotic displays before games, could allegedly allow such an insult to our troops by Cheney.
As Cheney dug around for the wayward hot dog, caught on the jumbotron for all to see, her stance stretched her jeans tight across her derriere, prompting right wing mouthpiece Charlie Kirk to tweet that the NFL had become a “league of sexual anarchy.” A confused Sean Spicer, press secretary for former president Donald Trump, added “What was the message of the half time show?”, which some believed was a reference to Cheney’s backside.
When asked for comment, Cheney said that the frankfurter was no longer edible and tossed it back under her seat.